A shock and a revelation

Today I found out that my grandpa could not be awakened. He was still alive, still breathing, but they just couldn't wake him up.

This news would likely come as a huge shock to most people. However, Grandpa has been fighting cancer for some time now, and has long since gone through all viable options of treatment. For him, it's a matter of time. In fact, it's been a lot longer than anyone has really realistically expected.

Still, although the shock wasn't as big as it otherwise would have been, there was still a shock, and I started preparing myself for a trip that may come at any time, to Grandpa's funeral.

It turns out that it wasn't the cancer at all. There was some mixing of medications that multiplied the effect of his Tylenol PM. They couldn't wake him up because he was sleeping it off.

I don't know whether to be relieved that Grandpa's alright or upset at the apparent lack of information that led to this medical mix-up. I think that I'll go with "relieved," though.

Edit: Grandpa has woken up and is doing a lot better.

Note: Abrupt change of topic, one blog post. I'm still working on transitions.

On Sunday, we were reminded about Christ's parable of the talents, and how by using our talents, we can multiply our blessings. How many of us hide our talents, or let them decay like an abandoned building... I play the violin, and could be good at it if I tried. I have a knack for languages, and at a time was at a near-native level in Spanish. I can think through problems a step at a time, and can sometimes transform those steps into computer code. I'm not a horrid writer. I like to doodle, but can only really do stick figures. What do I do with these talents?

My violin's case is a great dust collector. I still speak Spanish on occasion, but my Spanish language books are in about the same condition as my violin case, and though I've thought about trying to pick up another language, it ends there. I do still occasionally write some code if it will save me some time, but I know that there are some things that are still beyond me when it comes to programming. My writing is usually limited to short responses to emails and the occasional Facebook update. A couple of years ago I bought a drawing pad and some pencils, but since then, they're in my closet. Remember the violin case? My art supplies are even better at collecting dust.

Instead I fill my time with nonsense. Sometimes I find myself switching between Facebook, my email, and the one forum that I visit, hoping that one of them has updated. Sometimes I'm playing games, leveling up my characters, deleting them and creating new ones. Sometimes I sit, wondering what to do...

I tell myself that I don't have time for my talents, that there's no time to practice my violin, no time to study another language, no time to really get serious about programming, writing or drawing. But the truth? While still getting a full 8 hours of sleep, I have about two and a half hours between when I wake up and when I go to work. Sure, some of that is spent getting ready for work, so to give myself plenty of time to get ready at a nice, relaxed pace, we'll say that I have one and a half hours. After work, there are about four hours between when I get home and when I go to bed. There is dinner to consider, and getting  ready for bed. There is also helping to get dinner ready, helping with housework, etc. Let's give me two hours. That's three hours per weekday that I could be doing something productive to better myself. Add in all day on Saturday, and even a few hours on Sunday, as long as it's something spiritually uplifting, and that's quite a few hours a week.

So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm not going to give up Facebook or games, but they are going to take a backseat to other things. I'm going to read in Spanish every day, at least a little bit. I'm going to at least get my violin out on Saturdays and Sundays. I may even find a time in the evening that's not too late to annoy neighbors. I'm going to write more consistently in this blog, but I'm also going to write short stories and try to expand their length, little by little. I can do that in any short period of time. And, on weekends, I'm going to find some scenic place to sit, and I'm going to try to draw it. It's going to be ugly at first, and it may stay that way, but I am going to work on drawing. I'm not sure how I'm going to work on language acquisition or programming skills, but I'll find a place to fit those in.

Hopefully I can spend a little less time regretting the neglect that I've shown regarding my talents and more time developing them so that I can become a better me.